My interest in LGBT activism

Having attended the National Equality March, I have had some questions along the lines of "why are you so interested in LGBT issues?" So this post will attempt to answer that question.

I am interested in human rights in general, and I started being interested specifically in LGBT rights in college. I think the first time the importance of equal rights really struck me was during the Bone Marrow Drive freshman year. I was working one of health history tables, which is where they look over your info and take your cheek cell samples. A guy came up to me (I have no idea who he was) and sat down. I looked at his paperwork, which has a spot where you put if you have any of the AIDS risk factors. He was gay, but he had noted that he had recently been tested and was HIV negative. I called over one of the nurses. She told me we had to decline him. This man was willing to give his bone marrow to save someone's life, but I had to tell him he couldn't. It was crushing for me to have to say that to him. I felt terrible (and I still feel bad about it when I think about it). Clearly society values some people less simply for their sexuality. This didn't seem right to me.

I had already encountered discrimination against people. I come from a rural, intolerant area (in many ways - not just of LGBT identified people). I made my first gay friend in 11th grade - I didn't grow up around anyone openly very different from me, but my parents raised me to be open-minded, loving, and tolerant. This friend had a lot of issues due to his family's refusal to accept who he is and teasing and ridicule at school. So I knew there were injustices. In addition to that, I had fallen in with a group of evangelical Christians who preached the wrongness of homosexuality (I never really bought it, personally, which I'm glad about).

Not long after the BMD incident, I made a lot of friends in the Lambda Alliance. Now I am a great proponent of many of the movements for LGBT rights, and have been involved in some activism. I really think everyone deserves to be treated equally, regardless of any differences they may have. So there you go.

PS - if you want to see my story on the National Equality March (which made the front page!!!) go here.

The Month of Vegetarianism

August has come and gone, so it's about time to reflect on that month where I didn't eat any meat. I don't feel like writing out a huge chunk of text, so I'm just going to answer many of the common questions I got and still get about it. Have another question you want to know about? Ask in the comments and I promise to add it.

Why did you go vegetarian for a month?

There were two main reasons I did this. The first was simple curiosity. I've been mulling over how I feel morally about eating meat (at the moment fairly ambivalent) and have been wanting to try out vegetarianism (I had been cutting down on meat anyway). When the lovely Amy challenged all her friends on Facebook to do a month of vegetarianism, I thought about it for a while and decided I would give it a go. I guess a month is supposed to give you a good idea of what it's really like.

Was it hard?

Easy question: no. For nearly the entire month I was on the West Coast, a veritable mecca of vegetarianism (especially Portland, which I was in for 3 nights in total). LA was a little trickier than expected. Coming back onto campus for that last almost-a-week was by far the hardest bit. Not to say I wasn't tempted, especially in LA (I attribute that to not having as many great veggie options). Also, I'm a bit of a foodie when it comes to tourism so I was a little sad to give up the opportunity to try some regional dishes - especially sushi in Vancouver. However, I plan to get back out there sometime, so not a huge loss.

Did you like it? Did it make you feel better?

I did like it, though occasionally wished to try a meat dish. Shamefully I mostly ate out so wasn't that healthy, however, I did notice a difference in the frequency of digestive problems (much less!). I always thought that was due to dairy consumption (I love cheese a little too much), but maybe that's not the whole story.

Are you going to become a vegetarian now?

Short answer: no. Long answer is that while I still feel a little guilty about eating meat (even more so now, I started having meat guilt dreams during August), this month also allowed me to discover the reasons I really would want to be vegetarian. Truth is, these reasons - health and environmentalism - can be almost as effective if I am eating only a little meat as they would were I eating no meat. And since giving up burgers forever is not a fun thought, I'm going to simply cut down on my meat consumption a lot. Sadly, the meat consumption is currently on an upswing, probably due to both feeling deprived and the lack of vegetarian options at the dining halls. I am going to set a goal right now to be fully vegetarian at least 2 days a week, and slowly increase that number as time goes on (FYI: I'm already half, or 2/3, vegetarian every day - I only eat meat at dinner [if I eat it], and of course breakfast is a bagel when I eat it so no meat there). I am currently using Tofutti Better than Cream Cheese and Vegenaise, and I use soy milk in my cereal and drink chocolate soy milk (SO GOOD).

Did you learn anything during this time?

In addition to whatever you can construe as learning above, I learned the difference between animal rights and animal welfare activism thanks to Amy. I have discovered that I am not interested in animal rights, as I mistakenly assumed I was, but instead, more interested in animal welfare.

On the whole I found the process enlightening and fun. I tried new things like tempeh (delicious!) and seitan jerky (not so much a fan). I got to the point where I don't loathe tomatoes. I ate at a whole bunch of amazing vegetarian and vegan restaurants, thanks to Amy's awesome trip planning skills (and her GPS, it must be said). In addition to that, I discovered a valuable resource in Yelp for general food and drink recommendations for cities, and HappyCow.net for specifically vegetarian recommendations. Overall I am very glad I did it, and maybe I will slowly become vegetarian - who knows!

cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

Today in my Gender Studies class we talked about cybersex. Among other interesting aspects of this phenomenon, we discussed cheating in the context of internet sex. Is it cheating if you're having erotic chat-room conversations with a hottie from Spain in the middle of the night while your significant other slumbers in the other room, for instance? You're not, after all, having physical sex of any kind. The floor was opened for discussion and one of the extremely outspoken women contended that it wasn't cheating if there was no emotional connection. The discussion continued with people agreeing with a particular conception of cheating, and it began to alarm me. I had to make the point that there is not an objective definition of cheating. What's cheating to me might be totally innocent to you.

For instance, the outspoken women said prostitution wasn't cheating because there was nothing emotional in it. However, to me, sexual infidelity is just as heinous as emotional infidelity (and believe me, it's pretty heinous in my estimation). Cheating, whether sexual or emotional, is a total dealbreaker for me. But what do I consider cheating? Well, for me it all depends on the situation when you get down to contested areas. However, there are definite lines for me - sex with someone else is crossing that line, whether we're talking about vaginal intercourse, oral sex, or mutual masturbation. I have a pretty broad definition of sex. However, I recognise that some acts can be completely innocent. A kiss or a hug isn't a necessary red flag, if it's given in friendship, or, say, for a theatrical performance. I (and Jeff too) was okay with giving Amy a peck on the lips to help her complete her goal of kissing 21 people for her 21st birthday. But anything more than a peck - yes, regardless of gender - would be pushing it. However, this is just my conception of fidelity. Clearly, not everyone will agree with me. What's important is that you agree with your partner, or at least agree to respect their conception of cheating, so that your relationship can be one of trust.

So what's acceptable and not for you?