Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's really over

(Day 12 of the month of themed blogging is a whatever you feel like day)

Sunday morning I went down to Williamsburg to attend the Classics graduation ceremony. I wasn't going to participate, just watch and catch up with friends and professors. My mom and brother happened to be bringing my grandmother a TV so I got to see them and we went to lunch at Firehouse Subs, which is pretty good. Not long after it was time to drive onto campus to go to the ceremony at the Campus Center.

I got the program and noticed I was on the list of degree recipients! I should have written a paragraph and walked across the stage like everybody else.... oh well. I sat in front of Callie and got to talk a little bit of Doctor Who with her. Got to see people like Lauren, Maggie, Natasha, Lena, and Meg, and some other people I sort of know. What was mind boggling was there were classics majors there I didn't know! Out of 19 graduating students, there were at least 2 I'd never seen before. Crazy! Talking to profs was cool too.

After that I was just going to go home but was able to get up with Zach and went and hung out with him while he packed. Trevor was there for a bit too. Eventually I headed home after saying bye to my grandmother, and got gas at Wawa and dinner at Taco Bell.

But what this whole thing really drove home was the fact that college is really over. Sure, it's been over since mid-December for me, but the people in my year were still in school that whole time and I could visit and it was like a semester away, sort of; at least that's how it felt. But now that they've all graduated it really feels like I'm done. And I miss it. Mostly, the people. And the abundance of free time, and the proximity and availability of friends and all that. I didn't feel like I missed Williamsburg per se, or being in classes, but just the whole experience of being in college. It's a chapter of my life that has ended, and that's weird. Sure, high school ended but then there was just more school. Now, most likely, school is over. Even if I go to grad school one day it'll be different.

I'm a little bit sad. I'm a bit in mourning, you could say. I will miss my college friends - will any of us keep in touch? These are really good friends, great people, many of whom I've known for 4 years of my life or longer. Isn't it strange that suddenly, many of us will drift apart and possibly never see each other again? It seemed bad enough for the people I'd bonded with in one semester in New Zealand were gone from my life, but now I have to face up to that with even closer friends... but I've kept in touch with some people from New Zealand, so I'm confident that I can keep in touch with some people from college.

The other night I had a dream about riding and realized I miss that part of my life, too. I want horses to be part of me again. I think it was part of this feeling like I'm letting things go, and I just don't want to. If I try hard enough, I probably don't have to. I'm planning on riding in Costa Rica at least once. And I'll Skype with at least one person this summer. That's my goal.

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